the allure of Scent: connection to ourselves & others
Feb 13th 2022
With ‘love’ on the brain - I want to focus on connection. How scent, and our sense of smell in particular, can help us connect to others, connect to ourselves and how encouraging relaxation allows more room for enjoyment and intimacy. Whether you’re paying attention to Valentine’s day or letting it go with a blink of an eye - these principles apply to the everyday.
Our sense of smell is vital for survival. We are subconsciously and constantly absorbing and processing a full range of odours (which are sending signals to our brain). You don’t need to be consciously aware of an odour for it to have psycho-physiological changes and for it to influence our behavior. So how does this apply to our connection to one another? Well - looking back at primitive ideology - we smell our partners out. We are mammals after all! Subconsciously, we are taking in the odour of someone else and our brain might be telling us ‘ooh yes’ or ‘ooh no’ and this is dependent on the person’s physical health, sexual status and emotional/hormonal changes. This is all done through the release of pheromones. From a functional perspective, people will smell out their compatible partner, looking for someone with a different immune system and genetics, to ultimately reproduce a healthy breed.
Do you ever find yourself liking the smell of someone’s skin? Their sweat? Of course you do! We are supposed to. Our own personal odor is entirely unique to us, like a fingerprint. There have been multiple studies using the ‘T-shirt test’ where one can find a compatible partner based on smelling a T-shirt they have been wearing for a week. No perfume or cosmetics allowed. The results of this research showed that a person would enjoy the odour, sweat and all, of someone who has different compatibility genes to them. However, sex is now in many ways considered to be more about pleasure. Desire. Lust. Not just the functioning act of procreation. We now have a million ways to make ourselves ‘smell good’, more desirable and more confident. Your brain is now being told ‘ooh yes, compatible!’ when really it could just be Paco Rabanne ‘1 million’ (which no one has said since 2008).
So what is our olfactory system doing to make us say “Yes! That’s the one!”? Well, odors have a profound effect on our mood. Research has shown that the olfactory system (the part of our brain in charge of smelling) has a direct input to the part of the brain associated with emotion and sex. However, it entirely depends on whether you like that smell. If the scent evokes negative emotions or memories or is just naturally repellent to you (note: 1 million) - that door is closing. It’s important for you to enjoy the smell.
Perfume is an amazing thing. I’m verging on obsessed with it. It gives me confidence. It makes me happy and I like that people like it. But what is the scent actually doing? For centuries, ingredients, like musk, have been used to recreate the pheromonal effect. Sandalwood is also a go-to for its chemical similarities to androsterol (a male pheromone). Use of these ingredients was based on the intention of making the person more ‘desirable’ and using ingredients to mimic sexually charge pheromones or general human odours. Most modern ingredients used in perfume and the cosmetic industry are mostly artificial whereas essential oils are natural and they have their own wondrous power. Their chemical components not only make them smell delicious, they are also effective for mind and body. Focusing on the theme of intimacy - there are oils which are renowned for their properties as ‘aphrodisiacs’. Traditionally, flower petals have been thrown delicately on bedspreads of newlyweds. In particular rose petals or In Indonesia and Malaysia, it is usually the flower of Jasmine or Ylang Ylang. This is because the essential oil of these flowers are euphoric, promote love and nourishment of mind and body. What makes an oil an aphrodisiac? The idea is that they are excellent at calming anxiety, helping with relaxation and reducing tension. These floral oils are also all wonderful for working with the heart / fire element - working on boosting self esteem, confidence, self-identity, self-expression. All of which help you to realign and promote connection of mind and body. This ultimately helps get you to a place where you have confidence for intimacy. The more relaxed we are, the more room we allow for mindfulness, being present in the moment, allowing pleasure and joy to rise. Other lovely oils which can be helpful for their aphrodisiac effects include patchouli, sandalwood and vetiver.
With stress levels being high, people are finding it hard to let go or to just simply be ‘in the mood’. Too tired, too fatigued or physically pent up with frustration or tension. Aromatherapy can be helpful to unlock and release stress and tension to allow more room for enjoyment, liberation or a looser sense of mind and body. Touch itself is a fantastic remedy to reduce stress. Massage in particular is a great technique to use on yourself and others, to help with emotional blockages that reside in the body, to release and regulate a build up of tension and for general relaxation. Everyone (and I mean everyone) can benefit from the healing, nurturing touch of a massage. A massage oil blend I’ve created with this theme in mind includes Black Pepper and Clary Sage, both of which are more stimulant and are great for loosening and regulating tension. Along with Frankincense and Patchouli, which help with emotional release and have a calming effect. Whether it’s giving someone else a nurturing massage, or giving it to yourself. The time you’re putting in to help unwind and release is so valuable. A ‘reset spray’ is also a great way to physically cleanse a space in order to relax or connect. It can be a physical way to almost wipe the space clean with a different energy. The inhalation of the blend will also be useful to help adjust our mood. A blend of Sandalwood, Jasmine and Ylang Ylang creates a lovely grounding nourishing combination with euphoric effects. Both the oil and spray are doing two different jobs but are equally effective in helping release tension, reduce anxiety and heighten connection.
This is not just for valentines day. It’s for always. It’s not just for a partner, it can be for you alone. Bask in the loveliness of aromas and encourage the deeper relaxation of body and mind. Ultimately leading to deeper enjoyment. Shower yourself with love. Self admiration. Self gratitude. Self appreciation. Loving ourselves is vital before inviting someone else in to share it with us. Sending lots of love to you. Have fun tomorrow & the next day and the next... whatever it may bring you x
❤️
Safety note: Massage oils blended with essential oils are generally not to be used in intimate areas. Please seek advice from a qualified aromatherapist before using essential oils for conditions.
Always blend essential oils with a base carrier, please do not use neat on the skin.
References and reading:
Damian, Peter & Kate. Aromatherapy: Scent and psyche (1995)
Davis, Patricia. Aromatherapy A-Z. (2005)
Dodd, George H. and Van Toller, Steve. Ed. Perfumery: The psychology and biology of fragrance (1994)
Mojay, Gabriel. Aromatherapy for Healing The Spirit (1997)
Lawless, Julia. The Encyclopaedia of Essential Oils (2014)
Worwood, Valerie Ann. The Fragrant Pharmacy (1990)
Worwood, Valerie Ann. The Fragrant Mind (1995)
Articles:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/15/science-of-love-robin-dunbar
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/sep/08/can-you-smell-perfect-partner